Some Days, the Roof is Not Only for Stalking or Stargazing
by afterfourteenyears
Summary: [One-sided GinSachi, GinTsu] Sacchan is on the roof anticipating a possible great night but she ends up cold, crying, alone and heartbroken. Prequel to Mitsuketa. Lemon.


**Author's note:** _I do not own any of the Gintama stuff. I am just a poor, overworked and sleep-deprived fanfic writer who is slowly getting GinSachi ideas into paper because of the FRUSTRATING lack of this perfect pairing around the net. Oh, it's so goddamn frustrating. So yes, here is the first of the many that will appear online. Please feel free to review. All my works are unedited/unbetaed because I have no time to have my stuff checked. I work full time at a hospital as an MD, juggling studying, working, tumblr, writing fanfic and keeping together an almost non-existent social life. This oneshot is meant as a prequel/companion fic to another multi-chaptered fic which I will post soon. To warn you though, there is major GinTsu here. I'm afraid that pairing cannot be ignored. But well, I'll work it out. ;) _

_UPDATE 5-9-13: This story has been edited to a less graphic version. It's in danger of getting deleted. Ack. __You'll find the full version in my tumblr or wordpress account. _

Sacchan could barely tolerate the weather that night. The wind continuously blew a cold breeze that ruffled her hair and brought sand to her eyes despite her glasses. She shivered, quietly dipping to her usual position on the Yorozuya rooftop, and waited patiently for the arrival of a certain silver-haired male.

Several minutes passed and the chill in the air seemed to worsen, as if heralding something unpleasant. A gust of air brought grains into her eyes causing them to sting and tear up. Sacchan wiped them with a frown. Nights were commonly relaxing on the roof, save for a few times when Gin-san would stab his wooden sword through the ceiling to try and shoo her away, or when Sadaharu attracted a good number of felines to party at the top.

This time, it felt different. She mildly suspected a greater force trying to push her away from the vicinity. Even the moon that night could barely be seen, covered by dark clouds and the stars hid themselves from sight. She felt alone. As if on cue, thunder flashed and lightning boomed.

Five. Four. Three. Two. One. The rain fell. The entire situation was uncomfortable. It would do her no good to remain there, wouldn't it? But she resolved to stay for a few minutes just to get a glimpse of Gin-san. If she were lucky, he might take pity on her and even invite her in to stay the night.

Giggling, Sacchan imagined Gintoki demanding her to remove her wet clothes and join him under the blanket of his futon. Maybe they'd even share a few kisses and caresses. Then, at the end of the night, they would fall asleep in each others arms.

Still giddy with sensual thoughts, she barely noticed two figures dash up the steps of the Yorozuya residence. Only when the sliding door shut noisily did she look through the modified roof hole she created months ago. Nothing prepared her for what she saw.

Panting and still clad in their wet garments were Gintoki and Tsukuyo. Tsukky's face was twisted into a very irritated expression and her eyes were fierce. Gintoki too appeared annoyed, his face serious and his usual dead fish eyes narrowed. His hands were fisted at his sides and Sacchan noticed a harsh tremble in them.

Unable to assess the situation, Sacchan remained silent and patiently waited for either to speak. She tried to control her breathing. Somehow, she felt like her throat closed up and she was drowning in the middle of nowhere. It was probably the harsher pour of the rain and soaking of her clothes. None of it, she avowed, was because of what she was currently witnessing.

"What's the big idea, Gintoki?" Tsukuyo barked. "Stop getting in my business. It's none of _your_ business! I didn't ask for _your_ help!"

Gintoki grabbed her by the arm and turned her to face him. "It _is_ my business if it involves _your_ safety. Do you even realize what you are planning to do?"

Sacchan had never seen him so angry or serious.

Tsukuyo tried to pull her arm away but his grip was too tight. "Yes! I am a capable woman. I think I can understand a simple mission." She struggled but Gintoki was stronger. He dragged her to him, only an inch apart and then backed her against the wall.

"You have no idea how dangerous Takasugi Shinsuke is. But I do, because I fought by him years ago and I'm telling you, it is suicide to go after him with only your band of ninjas. He is strong, crafty, unpredictable and merciless."

"I can do this Gintoki, stop trying to belittle my abilities. I am a well trained ninja," Tsukuyo insisted angrily.

"Do you remember that first time we met and we had to fight against your mentor Jiraia?" Gintoki breathed deeply.

Tsukuyo answered him with a glare.

"Takasugi is _worse_. If with Jiraia we almost died, then with Takasugi... Surely..." Gintoki pointedly stared into her eyes.

Tsukuyo pushed at him but he held her in place. "Why do you care if I die? It's not supposed to be an issue. I was given this task because I can do it. I cannot compromise my duties because of some fear of dying."

"If I have to bind you and lock you up, I will. Because there is no way in hell I'm letting you go through with it and have you die on me. It's not the time to go after Takasugi. We need careful planning and a bigger group. I'll help you." Gintoki inched his face closer to hers, never breaking eye contact. His voice, Sacchan noticed, had softened and was coaxing. "You just have to stall a while."

Tsukuyo's eyes softened, "Gintoki," she murmured. "Why? Why do you care so much?"

Sacchan barely heard his response over the wild rain. "Because I don't want to lose you," he said gently and then kissed her.

Tsukuyo stiffened at first then eventually sighed at the contact and Gintoki released his grip on her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her body against his. Opening her mouth wider to give him more access, their tongues could be seen dancing and twisting upon another alternating with biting and sucking of every bit they could reach.

Her lips looked plump and soft and Gintoki relished them with much gusto. Tsukuyo groaned as he licked and sucked on her lower lip. She seemed barely mindful of her actions as she squirmed against him, pressed against his chest. Gintoki released a deep sound from his throat. He looked ready to lose control, like he wanted to rip off every piece of clothing she wore and take her senseless. Raising both hands, he cupped her through her kimono as he pleased.

For Sacchan, it was hell. A demon monster that ripped her heart from her chest and crushed it. It wasn't that it was something unbelievable. She would be so naive to claim that she never thought that Gin-san and Tsukky would give in to their feelings and desire for each other. Everyone noticed and it was only the two people involved who vehemently denied such emotions and wanting existed. Sacchan too hoped that they had denied it much longer. Seeing both of them in a very intimate and private moment unexpectedly had more than hurt her heart. She wondered if it was the first time they were involved in such a situation or if it happened before.

Gintoki buried his face in Tsukuyo's neck and showered it with bites and kisses. Sacchan noticed Tsukky's hands transfer to Gin-san's hair and fist there, drawing him even closer as she responded eagerly. Her back was arched as she pushed her chest further into Gintoki's playing hands which were now moving around even more. She let out another moan but then followed by saying, "stop," which she could barely let out.

Gintoki raised his head to look her in the eyes, "Don't say that. I can't stop now. I won't," his voice hoarse. Sacchan saw him continue to tease Tsukky's more vigorously causing her to scream and jut her chest out. "You want this too."

"Not now, Gintoki." Tsukuyo gasped, almost overcome by pleasure. "We're getting carried away." She twisted and moved away from him and but he caught her from behind and pulled her flush against him. She moaned as he drew nearer.

"Tsukky. I want you." He whispered as he kissed her neck and continued driving her crazy. "For so long now, I've always wanted to do this," he admitted, his voice hoarse, "and more."

"Gintoki," she sighed, flexing her neck to give him more access.

"Tell me to stop and I will." He murmured, moving closer. "I want you. Can you feel that, Tsukky?"

Tsukuyo closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, giving in, "Yes," she whispered, moving with him.

He licked the outer shell of her ear. "Beautiful and sexy. I've always wanted to do this."

"Gintoki," she purred, "please." Her bun had come loose and her face framed by her golden hair.

"I can't stop holding you. I want to taste you, Tsukky." He found new ways to taunt her.

Tsukuyo screamed, his actions making her wild. She raised her arms to wrap them around his neck causing her breasts to lift further.

Gintoki watched in awe from behind as he was given a fuller view. He licked his lips as his breathing became shallow.

"Damn, Tsukky. You're driving me crazy, woman. I can't wait to have you." He licked her neck and continued moving closer.

"Yes. Please, Gintoki." Tsukuyo pleaded, face flushed and body trembling.

He smiled wickedly, finally pushing her to admit her own desires. He undressed her completely and kept her close. "I can't wait any longer," he said, voice harsh.

Turning her to him, he kissed her again, full on the lips and she responded with vigor. She wound her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him close. Gintoki groaned as he felt her his hands on her waist. He ran them down, lingering on her hips to pull her closer, and then upward to her sides.

Tsukuyo broke away from Gintoki and stopped him when he leaned forward to capture her lips in his mouth. Both were panting heavily and staring at each other's eyes. Gintoki took the opportunity to tease her again, earning a whimper from her. "Gintoki!" she exclaimed, impatient.

Moving her hands downward, she hastily undid his belt and tugged down on his left sleeve. She pried his black shirt open, dragging it off and tossed it to the floor. Bending her head, she showered his chest with light kisses, making him groan and pull her closer. She hooked her fingers on the waistband of his pants and rid him of his trousers.

Tsukuyo chanced a look at Gintoki's boxers. She smirked upon seeing the design. Pink with random red hearts printed all over. Gintoki growled and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to his room. She looked desirable to Gintoki in her current state.

He set her down on the futon gently, positioning himself on top. Tsukuyo was left wearing her arm sleeves, fishnet stockings and boots. He lay his hands on her body. "You must be punished for laughing at my boxers," he said and bent his head to make an emphasis.

Hands fisting in his hair, Tsukuyo screamed. The rain was still hard and loud enough to mask the noises she was making.

"I won't let you off so easily," Gintoki said before returning to his task. From the sounds he was making, he looked like he was really enjoying himself. He chuckled, barely stopping his actions. Tsukuyo was gasping and screaming, moving her head side to side, obviously unable to control herself.

"Oh please, oh please, oh please," she wailed, acting like she had never experienced such a thing before. Like no one had ever tried to do what he was doing.

Sacchan wanted to leave, to jump on the roofs of house to house, far away from this misery; but she could not stop watching Gin-san make love to another woman, and a friend of hers at that. Maybe she truly was a masochist at heart, prefering to let things -and people- hurt her. Maybe it did give her pleasure to watch this scene below her and feel it crush and tear at her heart. It killed her to see Gin-san look at Tsukky with love and naked desire in his eyes, concern and caring with his words, and possessive gentleness with his actions. This was exactly the way he would _never_ regard her. It stung, horribly, on every part of her insides yet she felt no anger. There was no urge to interrupt the scene and challenge Tsukky -her friend- to a battle for Gin-san's heart.

Gin-san, a man she admired, stalked, loved and lusted for so long. He had always wanted someone else. He never spared her a glance, never showed a single gentle gesture. She could never seem to win him.

Those times he violently pushed her away or verbally yelled out negativities at her, she always tried to ignore them. She always felt oddly comforted and pleased by those things. Probably because she saw them as a challenge. Nobody dared to provoke her since she was a very skilled ninja assassin. But this man, he dominated her and shunned her, unimpressed by her very being. She just wanted to bask in his maleness, to let him overpower her and give him everything.

Never did she considered if he would even accept. That is, until now. It was too late. Gin-san, was in the arms of his beloved woman who is beautiful, brilliant, strong and wanted by him. Not in a million years could she even qualify to be that. It pained her and sunk her to new lows. Fortunately, the rain had started to calm down, ultimately decreasing her discomfort though minimally.

Sacchan refused to tear her eyes away from the scene even as Gintoki and Tsukuyo shared continuous passionate kisses, bodies pressed so close to each other they were almost one. She simply watched as he kissed his way down the woman's body, savoring every contact. Sacchan could feel her own body on fire. He spent so much time and attention on Tsukky. She was jealous of his actions upon them, recalling that she always fantasized him doing similar things to her own.

Her hand crept up to relieve herself. She bit her lip, knowing what she was doing was disgusting but she did not care to consider it like that right now. She only wanted to translate to her own body what she was seeing from Gin-san's actions.

"Gintoki!" Tsukuyo exclaimed. Sacchan was woken from her temporary distraction and found that Gintoki had gone down on Tsukky. She could hear enthusiastic sounds from Gin-san. Tsukuyo had her hands crumpled in Gintoki's shining curly hair and she was moving lively. Within a few seconds, Tsukky screamed a high pitch elated sound accompanied by a tremble of her body.

Sacchan took off her glasses and closed her eyes. Panting, she turned on her side, away from viewing the scene. This wasn't right. The feeling building inside her. She was jealous and hurting but also very much turned on. A throb in between her thighs was starting and she squirmed, locking her legs together to try to relieve the sensation.

Tsukuyo was screaming, "Gintoki don't you dare stop!"

The purple haired ninja put on her glasses and looked back to see that Gin-san and Tsukky were clinging together.

"Gintoki!" Tsukuyo gasped and savagely responded. Gintoki could not take his eyes off her. He bent his head to kiss her.

"So beautiful..." Gintoki groaned. "You feel amazing. Tsukky."

Tsukuyo whimpered, liking what he was doing. She moved causing Gintoki to roar.

"You're so fascinating," Gintoki cried, "I'm going mad, Tsukky."

"Me too," Tsukky ground out.

Within seconds, both reached their peaks, clinging to each other and releasing everything built up inside of them.

They remained silent for a few minutes, only the sounds of their panting and the release from each other to be heard. Gintoki had drawn Tsukuyo to him in an embrace, the two staring deeply into each others eyes. He kissed her and she responded eagerly, both starting a new cycle of passionate lip locking. When they pulled away from each other, once again staring into their partner's eyes, Sacchan could not stop the tears that threatened to fall.

She cried, silently, with so much hurt and hopelessness. She was ever so foolish to try to ease or rather, push, herself into Gin-san's life and heart. Clearly, he had surrendered everything to Tsukky. For the longest time that they've known each other, he never tried to touch her or kiss her that way. She had always foolishly hoped for a change.

Fate is cruel. She met him first. Gin-san and Tsukky were acquainted much, much later however, they were meant to come together. The gentleness in his eyes and the passion in his words and actions could not be mistaken. Surely, nothing could be worse than realizing this.

"Tsukky. That was amazing." Gin-san declared, his voice deep. "You're beautiful. I'm glad we finally did this."

"Gintoki..." Tsukuyo was speechless but her eyes were shining as she nodded.

He buried his face in her neck. "I still want you," he whispered, "I want to spend the whole night with you." His hand touched her.

Tsukuyo bit her lip, "I should be getting back. The rain has stopped."

"Stay the night." Gintoki begged, his eyes earnest and pleading. "Stay with me."

Tsukuyo looked away and tried to untangle herself from his arms, "I'll think about it."

"Tsukky, what's wrong?" Gintoki asked, frowning. He held her tight to keep her from moving away.

"It's nothing," she assured him, still not returning his gaze.

"Something's the matter. I can tell. Did I do or say something terrible?"

Her eyes snapped back to his, "No! It isn't that."

"Then what is it? Tell me." Gintoki said gently, his eyes never leaving hers. "I want to know what you're thinking or feeling. I hate seeing you like this."

Biting her lip, Tsukuyo raised her hand to caress the side of his face. She looked at his eyes, searching his expression and then kissed him softly but with slight hesitation.

"Tsukky-" Gintoki started.

"I love you, Gintoki." She declared. "What we just did, I don't regret it. But are you- are you only interested in my body? Is this physical satisfaction?" Tsukuyo's face carried a worried expression.

Gintoki stared at her, shaking his head.

"When I responded to you, that was physical attraction but I also gave so much of my emotions. I wanted you to feel that. I'm so in love with you. I have been in love with you since I met you. That day you saved me... No one has ever cared so much for me before. All this time, you've always been there for me. You make me feel safe but you also trust my own strength. Hell, you even make me laugh. Every single day I spent with you made my feelings grow more and more. I just- I couldn't stop myself from falling..."

Gintoki wiped the tears forming in her eyes. He didn't say anything for a while. Instead, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her senseless. Tsukuyo responded, closing her eyes and wrapping herself around his body, surrendering herself to him once again.

His arms encircled her waist, drawing her against him desperately, as if her were trying to mold them into one. Gintoki groaned, not wanting to let go of the woman in his arms. He groaned as Tsukuyo opened her mouth wider and wider to welcome him and let him devour her endlessly.

Gintoki broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Tsukuyo's. Their breathing was harsh and hurried, hands roaming everywhere, hips grinding against each other.

"Tsukky, you drive me crazy," he said, frustrated. "I can't stop wanting you. Not even now that I've made you mine. You- I'm in love with you too, woman."

Tsukuyo gasped, the feeling of himhis raw confession driving her on edge.

"The first time I saw you, I wanted your body, even though I thought you were crazy. You're stunning, sexy and precious. I always feel protective and possessive around you. I'm always more alive and stimulated with you." Gintoki stroked her cheek with his thumb, his expression tender.

"Gintoki..." Tsukuyo murmured, speechless.

"Now do you understand why I forbid you to go on that job? I don't want to lose you. I'd go crazy. I can't lose you, Tsukky. You're important to me. Eversince the day we met, the first time I saw you, I thought you were incredible. When you were in danger, my heart wouldn't stop urging me to rescue you, because you needed to come into my life. I needed to know you and love you and feel you. To me, you're beautiful, sexy, strong and perfect for me. That's why you have to be alive. By my side. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

Gintoki spoke the words. The words that gave life to Tsukuyo and words that repeatedly stabbed Sacchan to near death. Sighing heavily, Sacchan continued to cry. She wanted to die. Instead, she was left on the verge, suffering. Surely, she should leave and stop intruding on such a tender moment. Why couldn't she leave? She always found pleasure in pain but this punishment was at a very different and cruel level.

Tsukuyo softly kissed the man beside her. "I love you too, Gintoki. I always have." She admitted. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I don't want to be separated from you either." Sighing, she continued, "I'll hear you out. We'll plan everything well and get help from others. I won't rush into my mission- oh!"

Gintoki had smiled and kissed her hard, obviously happy with her decision. Once again, he started to tease her.

"Gintoki... I-"

"Don't tell me to stop now, woman." He growled. "I want to show you how much I love you. I'm the only one who can do this," Gintoki declared possessively.

She pressed herself closer to him, "I wasn't going to stop you," she gasped as he continued. "That feels so good."

"You're the sexiest woman I've ever come across," he said as he brought her closer. "I want to make you mine. Marry me, Tsukky. Marry me." He said as they joined into one.

"Yes, Gintoki. Yes. I'll marry you," she answered, responding to his touch. "If it means I could always be with you like this."

"Yes. And more." Gintoki promised as he continued to love her. Both were too preoccupied with each other such that they failed to notice a thump on the roof.

It was Sacchan getting up and finally leaving. Upon hearing Gintoki's proposal, she decided she'd had enough and had to flee. Her chest still constricting with pain while leaping from roof to roof, she let tears roll down her cheeks and sobbed her heart out. She just wished her opponents would discover her right at this moment and end her misery but slitting her throat.

She always thought Gin-san was a man who would never let himself be tied down. Yes, he could fall in love and devote himself to a woman but he wouldn't enslave himself to marriage. But there he was, only moments ago, proposing to spend the rest of his life with Tsukky. It hurt so much. Sacchan found it hard to accept that she was not the woman to change his mind. Clearly, tonight was the cincher for Gin-san's choice in love.

She couldn't face him. She couldn't face _them_. Ever. Not until her heart had healed. But she knew that it would never be better. There would always be a scar in her heart to prevent her from ever opening up and trying to fall in love again. Bitterness has become her, she thought miserably. She had already decided what she will do.

She will leave that place, not only temporarily, but forever. She will travel far, far away and adapt a different life, never to return. She will distance herself and maybe someday she will forget and finally move on. Her life for the recent past had only been composed of assassin jobs and stalking Gin-san. Gin-san this, Gin-san that. She was happy but thinking about it right now only made her depressed. She felt shameful of the ways she forced herself into Gin-san's life, only to unknowingly -or sometimes consciously- disrupt his enjoyment and peace.

No one even seemed to like her, except probably the old lady Otose, who had become her occassional nighttime drinking buddy when she spotted Sacchan at the roof. Sometimes, they were accompanied by Catharine, who was also a fun companion. Or maybe Kondo-san, whom she could relate to and had good camaraderie with. Kagura and Shinpachi tolerated her and sometimes even pitied her but she realized they were also probably irritated and frustrated that she would always pop up at their place without invite. She also had built a mild rapport with Okita and Hijikata, both of whom usually end up involved in her assassin jobs, if only to arrest or investigate her. Okita has a sadistic side, that of which she sometimes enjoyed. Hijikata, he could be sweet and protective when he tried.

Then there was Tsukky, with whom she developed a close and great friendship. They started out as uncertain rivals -for Gin-san's affections- but later on, they discovered that they would make good friends. Tsukky never really spoke openly about her feelings for Gin-san -it was always Sacchan who would talk endlessly about trying to get with the handsome samurai- and Sacchan always assumed that Tsukky's feelings were either suppressed or faded. Well, tonight, she knew that had not been the case. But Sacchan did not feel betrayed. She shouldn't. Because deep inside, she knew that she did not have the right to feel that. Gin-san had only been aiming for Tsukky all this time. As a friend, she would support their love... By leaving and never interfering.

Gin-san, the man of her heart. The first man to ever create that distinct feeling within her. She would always love him but only silently and from the background starting now. He never acknowledged her but he was always honest with his feelings towards her. He didn't like her and he constantly tried to push her away from his life and inner circle. Sacchan finally understood it clearly. She never had a chance. He knew little of the suffering and pain he had caused her.

"Farewell, Edo. I'm off to a new start," Sacchan whispered to the night. Hopefully, by some act of fate, she would find happiness at her destination.

_End._

**Author's End Note:**_ Thanks for reading. Would appreciate your reviews. Go and read Mitsuketa when it's posted. A multi-chaptered fic focusing on events after this story. I promise it will be more GinSachi. _


End file.
